addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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