i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
