you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
