Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize