I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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