just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
