She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
