Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
