3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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