dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
