just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
