It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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