I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
