Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
