matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
