I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize