He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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