belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
