He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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