Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
