don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
