You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
