i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
40s are totally the cure
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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