Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
