she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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