Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
