I haven't been this sober since birth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
