the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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