i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
