are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
