White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
