And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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