i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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