No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
