Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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