i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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