drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
