I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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