I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
