Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
