omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
