Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize