He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
