theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
