Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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