I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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