ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
