Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
