dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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