We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
where are you?
Hypothermia
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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