Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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