I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I looked at my own cervix.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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