yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
