i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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