Well apparently he's into motor boating.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
