The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
