Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
