Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to make a zoo with you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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