Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
