They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
